Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Every town...

'Every town
Has it's ups and downs
Sometimes ups
Outnumber the downs'

Ok so that song goes on to say '..But not in Nottingham' but for me, at the moment, it's not in Ne-ew York.

To be fair, it's not New York's fault, but the lyrics seemed apt.
I'm having a bad day.
This is for a number of reasons, which I shall list thusly, as I feel it's high time I had a rant:

1. I'm sick, I'm under the weather, some kind of flu bug thing. It's sexy, honest.

2. I am stressed out due to Mountbatten work deadlines.  My Managing Information module is giving me severe proverbial ball-ache, for want of a better analogy.  It's not particularly hard, it's just particularly there, and it turns out, it's no picnic to work full-time, at a job I really like working hard at, and do full-on coursework too. I may have over-estimated my juggling capabilities. Or under-estimated how much I would enjoy wanting to work hard at my job. Or whatever. 

3. Related to number 2, I have to do a presentation for my sponsor company as part of my module. I attempted to do that today. I knew it was a bad idea to schedule it today. I'm such a retard. I don't know why I thought today was a good idea. I think I was thinking get it over and done with as I don't really like public speaking (I know, me, right? Who'da thunk it?!).  What I neglected to think about was the fact that I don't really understand exactly what the presentation is meant to be.  I mean, I have an idea, but I think I needed to have clarification.  I mean, I've never studied business before, and I've never presented in a business environment before, it's a new and scary place.  Hot damn, I needed that goddamn clarification.  Which I would have got if only I'd gone for scheduling at the end of this week. This is because I'm due a meeting with my tutor tomorrow lunchtime to discuss things thus far, and I could have talked it over with him.  Oh, how I'm gonna need to talk things over with him.

Also, didnt help that there was a spectacular misunderstanding at this shambles of a presentation I'd set up.  Turns out, my really very good-hearted bosses were under the impression that I was just kind of showing them what I was planning on presenting to someone at Mountbatten, not realizing that I was actually stumbling my way through trying to present to them.  So they started jumping in right from the off with suggestions for improvements and saying things like 'that won't make sense to the audience' and I'm like, 'errrr... but but, you guys are the audience!!' 

And because, I was a little confused over my project still, and sick, the powerpoint I'd cobbled together really didn't look that great looking back.

My bosses have actually really been so so good, and decided that we can treat that as a working session, and they will help me to get it up to scratch ready for the realio dealio on Thursday.  Which they didn't have to do.  They could have laughed in my face and said walk on love.  

But this makes me feel almost worse.. almost.  Because, like I said, I love my job, I really love working with these people, and I did such a bad job at this crap-tastic presentation I feel like I let them down.  I feel like I let them down bad.  I bet they're wondering why in the name of all that is holy, they chose this complete loser-ass-idiot for an intern.

I may have cried a little bit, in the bathroom (not right there haha!).  I bet it was real obvious too. OH MY GOSH I'm such a tard.  I have a lot to learn.


Love and hugs would be most welcome.


Daddio said...

Hi Babe,
Looks like you did well - You presented and they offered help to improve your presentation.
It's their fault that they misunderstood the invitation - to your benefit.
You know you can always send anything to me to review first if you want?
As for standing in front of an audience - its never easy, but they are only human like you!!!

Mucho Mucho Love and hugs

Jackie said...

Oh Darling

I know just how you feel - I too have to do a presentation and not looking forward to it or having experience of it am right there with you! I;ll think of you and you can laugh and think of me!!
You'll be just fine - at least you look the part young, lively and intelligent!! Unlike your favourite - Old, fat and almost balding (OK so maybe not balding - but middle aged, female past their best equivalent)

Just be yourself and you;ll be fine and shiny!!!

Lots of Love,

Jackie xx!!